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Q: Why was the little girl staring at the orange juice container for over an hour?
A: Because it said: "concentrate" on the label.
Q: How do you make Holy water?
A: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: What did the big fish say after accidentally
swimming into a concrete wall?
A: Dam.
Q: What do Eskimos get when they sit on the ice
for too long?
A: Polaroids.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't
work?
A: A stick.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.
Q: What are Santa's little helpers called?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and
a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and
twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
Q: What's the difference between roast beef and
pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Q: How come most blind people don't like to sky
dive?
A: It really freaks out the dog.
Q: What kid of coffee was served on the
Titanic?
A: Sanka.
Q: Why did the first Pilgrims always have
trouble keeping their pants up?
A: Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer
and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes whack, "damn." A bad skydiver goes
"damn," whack.
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: The tame way, unique up on it.
Q: What goes "clop, clop, clop, bang,
bang, bang, clop, clop, clop?
A: An Amish Drive-By Shooting.
Q: What one thing does a Tennessee divorce and
a Texas tornado have in common?
A: Either way, somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
Q: What did the hot Zen Master say to the hot-dog vender?
A: Make me one with everything.
Q:
What do you see when you look down a mole hole?
A: Molasses.
Q:
What did the bread dough say to the baker?
A: Its good to be needed.
Q:
What do cats like on a hot day?
A: Mice cream.
